why must fight fight fight always?  my eyes hurt…the sun burns…the pain of the words cuts right through me…i feel beat down…beat up…beat all around

i’ve been so extremely sleepy lately…my normal routine is to stay up til very very late at night…sleep a few restless hours and get through the day…usually, the grogginess doesn’t hit until 4 PM…but this week — eeps…sleepy as soon as I’m up…falling asleep at desk by 10:30…what is wrong…

is it the weather?  allergy season is soon…needs to start poppin pills…the warmness is nice…or is it lack of motivation? ha ha! the root of many-a-problem for our dear hey_kitty_kitty.

so, i was to make a big decision last Wednesday; ash wednesday no less…no ashes for me tho.  so i based my next plans on whether or not i got a promotion at work.  if i get one, i focus on getting another job; if i don’t, i focus on going to grad school.

of course what happens during my review?  i didn’t get one that day, but i will in 2 weeks — stupid HR issues around annual review.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how can that be? does that mean i did get it, but technically not that day so I should focus on school??? it was an arbritrary timing to get me to finally decide…but sheeeesh!

this is why i’m so all over the place.

so i did send my first resume out…guess we’ll see…i’ve also started researching programs…even something to get me in the school mode.

ack ack ack…